When your loved one has just been diagnosed with cancer, it's very difficult to find the right words to say. Most people are in shock for awhile.
Here are some tips to help you communicate:
1. Listen to them. It's critical that they are able to talk about their feelings without anyone judging them or offering only thoughts like "it will be OK". It's really important that they have a safe place to talk about what they are feeling.
2. Don't make immediate decisions if you don't have to. Talk to your doctor(s) about timeframes for decision making. Everything seems very immediate, but if you have the time, take it to absorb your choices and get a second opinion.
3. Let them be down for a while if that's where they need to be. It's not realistic to be positive all the time, and this is a very emotionally challenging time. For both of you!
4. Respect their decision to tell or not tell friends and relatives. If you don't know their opinion on this, ask, or simply don't tell anyone until they are ready. It's their decision and you need to respect it.
5. Educate yourself. Cancer is a very frightening word in and of itself. We've learned that it means something different to everyone, no two cases are alike because there are both the physical and mental components to recovery. Check out the resource links of this site for links to specific cancer organizations, and learn what you can about your specific type of cancer and treatments.
6. Just be there. Your new role is that of support person. The greatest gift you can give them is to listen and support them. As you move forward, you will gain more information, define your roles and determine a strategy. For now just be there.
If you have additional tips, please let me know!
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